Loyalty is hard!!
Today I want to share my own story. You can judge me, or you might relate it to yourself. I will leave that on you.
So I am in a relationship for last 10 years with this lovely guy. He has my exact opposite nature but he does care for me and I know he will do anything for me. I am happy with him. But sometime our brains play games with our mind and emotions.
Back in college I had this major crush on another guy, let's call him David ( I don't wanna disclose anyone's name). So David was this dream guy that every girl wants from Disney movies. Tall, handsome, all rounder, intelligent, an army personality and extremely caring. I did have a crush from the first day he entered in class, but I fell for him when I actually got to know him. He was very kind and soft hearted person but unfortunately I got friend-zoned by him back in college. After all I wasn't attractive like other girls in college.
Years passed, David and I remained close friends and now I am in relationship with my present boyfriend, Sam. Things were going good. It was really hard but I managed to move on from David. He is on another relationship as well. We stay in different states. Hence we meet only once in a year.
Last year, during Christmas David and I met up in a bar. I don't know it was the cold weather or the drinks something was weird between us. we both craved for each other that night. We made out. You must be judging me right now. Or you might be thinking it's okay to do it once, after all we both were drunk. Well at first I too thought it's okay. but after 2 days I regretted. I regretted really bad. Because-
- I cheated on Sam and he definitely doesn't deserve it.
- For David it was a meaningless fun because he never really had any feelings for me. He can never be mine.
- David did wrong to his girlfriend as well.
- And most importantly I started getting weak for David again.
I didn't tell this to anyone, neither David, nor Sam. I don't have any expectations from David and I don't wanna ruin my relationship. But being emotionally strong I managed to move on from this incident again.
A year has passed, and now Christmas of 2020 has arrived. David and I are planning to meet up soon, May be on 27th. But this time I want to be in control. I want to be loyal to Sam. Even if David approaches me for something more, even if I crave for him I will say a NO to him. And as a good friend I will advice him to stop fooling around with women other than his girlfriend. I think I am doing the right thing. What do you guys think? Let me know!!