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“Am I a poor parent”, is a question parents have certainly all questioned themselves after a particularly tiring day.
If there’s something all parents can agree on, it’s wanting to see your child succeed and live a long, healthy life. Life comes with challenges, though. Many are uncontrollable, while others are a result of actions or experiences your child faces.
Behind almost every child or teenager, there’s hidden pain. “I love both my parents with everything in me, yet still, they happen to be the people who hurt me most”, said a thirteen-year-old girl. An adverse experience doesn’t guarantee a future problem, rather, it heightens a child’s future risk of mental health problems, injury, risky behaviors, infectious or chronic disease, and lack of income or educational opportunities. Most notably, it can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide.
“How confident are you in your ability to connect with your parents?”. One out of fourteen claimed to be extremely confident with their ability to connect with their parents. However, as for the teenagers who are slightly or not confident at all, the issue could be either the parents or the children themselves. Despite the 28.58% of teenagers that aren’t that confident in their ability to connect with parents, the 64.28% of teenagers that are in the middle could also put in some effort to get closer to their parents, as every kid should be extremely confident in their ability to connect with the people who took care of them for years.
“have you ever been a victim of abuse, violence, or neglect at home?”. 50% claimed that they have never been a victim of violence, abuse, or neglect at home in general, which is considered marvelous. On the other hand, the other 50% claim to be a victim of violence, even if it’s not major, it’s still considered serious and traumatic to some. Approximately 36% confidently said yes, which isn’t a good sign. To be more specific, there are three main types of violence, abuse, and neglect that could be caused to a child of all ages. 1 - Physical abuse, which can vary from mild bruises to death in intensity. 2 - Various degrees of compulsion and violence are used in sexual abuse. 3 - Neglect can include everything from not providing food, clothes, or shelter to not providing medical treatment, supervision, or education. Neglect can also include exposing a youngster to risky situations or risks, such as crime. Children who are abused or neglected can develop a wide range of physical, psychological, cognitive, and behavioral issues. “murderous rage, homicidal rage, is not born in the present. It originates in the land before memory, in the world of early childhood”. (The Silent Patient, by Alex Michaelides). Parents that aren’t capable of taking care of their children and having full responsibility should consider finding them a better, family-friendly home to welcome them with open arms.
Another relevant question mentioned in the survey was the following: “how much individual attention do you get at home?”. 57.14% claimed to get ‘too little’ individual attention at home. From birth, children need experiences and relationships that show them they’re valued, capable human beings who bring pleasure to others. Positive attention, reactions, and responses from key grown-ups help children build a picture of how valued they are. Your child’s self-image builds up over time with positive, loving messages from you and other important people in your child’s life. A healthy self-image is very important, not only for your child’s relationship with others but also for your child’s confidence as they learn about the world. “no one paid me the least attention, I was clearly as invisible as I felt”. Says the main character in the book “The Silent Patient” as well.
Mental health issues, like many illnesses and diseases, tend to run in families and can be handed on from parent to kid. If both parents have a mental health problem, the risk increases much more. The American Journal of Psychiatry published research that tracked children of depressive parents for 20 years to see how they performed as adults. They discovered that children whose parents were depressed were three times more likely to have mental health and drug misuse problems than children whose parents were not unhappy.
“Both my parents have never been emotionally available and truth be told I don’t think they know how to. But we just learned to adapt to that” said a 15-year-old teenager during an interview. “My brother was a bit rebellious. I knew he had to face consequences but I didn’t agree with my mom’s method. I know it’s common for some parents to hit their kids but I feel like it’s usually a very subtle light hit on the wrist. Most of the time that wasn’t the case in our home. When my mom gets really angry she usually becomes very impulsive. So when she would try to hit him and usually end up blocking him so she’d hit me instead”. Some teenagers have convinced themselves that their unaware parents and their behaviors are normal, which is wrong on many levels.
It's vital to understand that just because a parent has a mental health problem doesn't guarantee it will affect their children. It's instead about how a parent's mental health influences their conduct. Many people who suffer from anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses receive treatment and go on to enjoy long, healthy, and productive lives. As a parent, dealing with depression may have an unintended effect on how you connect with your kid. You may not be as expressive or create an emotional link with your kid, for example, which might have an influence on the relationship between parent and child. It may also affect your child's physical well-being.
Be open and honest with your children about mental health. Describe what it is and how it can be treated. Avoid using labels and be careful with your language. "Sad" is gentler on the ears than "depressed," just as "scared" or "fearful" is easier for a youngster to understand than "anxiety." You should also be upfront and honest about how you communicate, both vocally and nonverbally. Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for, and they can detect clues. If you need to prioritize obtaining aid above caring for your family, don't feel guilty. Even if you're physically there, your family will struggle to get by without you at full strength.
When nothing appears to be going your way and you've spent your patience, it's easy to feel like your parenting abilities aren't up to grade. However, the fact that you're concerned about whether or not you're making the best parenting decisions indicates that you're not a horrible parent. Every decision you make might feel huge at times, and every error crucial. You are concerned about the long-term consequences of our decisions, particularly when they include unfavorable relationships with your children. You second-guess if you were too harsh when we shouted at them earlier, whether you could have managed that tantrum better, or if you gave them the proper punishment. Every parent, on the other hand, has those times when they lose their cool. In a moment of irritation or misunderstanding, you’ve all made less-than-ideal parenting decisions. To assist explain what's genuinely worth worrying about, two mental health professionals gave recommendations on how to recognize the indicators of what we'll label "poor parenting" and the impact it may have on a kid.
“I miss my family, I miss not getting beat up every time I talk about my emotions or ideas, I miss having a father figure, I miss having a single place to call home and I miss not feeling lost” conveyed a 16-year-old teenager. What they said was heartbreaking, and parents not being aware of how it makes them feel, or ignoring it, is absolutely pathetic. In my personal opinion, I consider this neglect and some sort of mental abuse. Children require treatment that promotes good emotional health and well-being and supports their general mental health, including the capacity to cope with stressful situations, regulate emotional arousal, conquer anxieties, and accept disappointments and frustrations. Parents and other caregivers are important resources for children in terms of controlling emotional arousal, coping, and behavior management. They fulfill this function by delivering positive affirmations, expressing love and respect, and instilling a sense of security. Parental support lowers the likelihood of internalizing behaviors, such as those linked with anxiety and depression, which can hinder children's adjustment and ability to perform successfully at home, school, and in the community.
“My dad has been a huge support since the day I was born. He never let anyone near me say anything that could hurt me. of course, now it’s harder for him to do this because he barely knows what I do who I’m friends with, and everything, but I do notice the huge effort he puts in just to make sure his kids are safe. As for my mom, I have no idea how someone can raise four kids, take care of a house and work all at the same time. My mom can be described as an actual superhero. the challenges she faced when I was younger are indescribable”. What this teenager said is how every child is supposed to feel about their parents, they should see them as “superheroes”, and never fear them.
Connect with your child. When you tune in to your kids, you're sending them the message that they matter, that they're important, that they're cherished, and that they're worth your time. Connection is just as important to you as it is to your children since it is what makes parenting worthwhile.
Jana Qadi.
1
135
Latest news Jerash - here are the news of nearby cities
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“Am I a poor parent”, is a question parents have certainly all questioned themselves after a particularly tiring day.
If there’s something all parents can agree on, it’s wanting to see your child succeed and live a long, healthy life. Life comes with challenges, though. Many are uncontrollable, while others are a result of actions or experiences your child faces.
Behind almost every child or teenager, there’s hidden pain. “I love both my parents with everything in me, yet still, they happen to be the people who hurt me most”, said a thirteen-year-old girl. An adverse experience doesn’t guarantee a future problem, rather, it heightens a child’s future risk of mental health problems, injury, risky behaviors, infectious or chronic disease, and lack of income or educational opportunities. Most notably, it can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide.
“How confident are you in your ability to connect with your parents?”. One out of fourteen claimed to be extremely confident with their ability to connect with their parents. However, as for the teenagers who are slightly or not confident at all, the issue could be either the parents or the children themselves. Despite the 28.58% of teenagers that aren’t that confident in their ability to connect with parents, the 64.28% of teenagers that are in the middle could also put in some effort to get closer to their parents, as every kid should be extremely confident in their ability to connect with the people who took care of them for years.
“have you ever been a victim of abuse, violence, or neglect at home?”. 50% claimed that they have never been a victim of violence, abuse, or neglect at home in general, which is considered marvelous. On the other hand, the other 50% claim to be a victim of violence, even if it’s not major, it’s still considered serious and traumatic to some. Approximately 36% confidently said yes, which isn’t a good sign. To be more specific, there are three main types of violence, abuse, and neglect that could be caused to a child of all ages. 1 - Physical abuse, which can vary from mild bruises to death in intensity. 2 - Various degrees of compulsion and violence are used in sexual abuse. 3 - Neglect can include everything from not providing food, clothes, or shelter to not providing medical treatment, supervision, or education. Neglect can also include exposing a youngster to risky situations or risks, such as crime. Children who are abused or neglected can develop a wide range of physical, psychological, cognitive, and behavioral issues. “murderous rage, homicidal rage, is not born in the present. It originates in the land before memory, in the world of early childhood”. (The Silent Patient, by Alex Michaelides). Parents that aren’t capable of taking care of their children and having full responsibility should consider finding them a better, family-friendly home to welcome them with open arms.
Another relevant question mentioned in the survey was the following: “how much individual attention do you get at home?”. 57.14% claimed to get ‘too little’ individual attention at home. From birth, children need experiences and relationships that show them they’re valued, capable human beings who bring pleasure to others. Positive attention, reactions, and responses from key grown-ups help children build a picture of how valued they are. Your child’s self-image builds up over time with positive, loving messages from you and other important people in your child’s life. A healthy self-image is very important, not only for your child’s relationship with others but also for your child’s confidence as they learn about the world. “no one paid me the least attention, I was clearly as invisible as I felt”. Says the main character in the book “The Silent Patient” as well.
Mental health issues, like many illnesses and diseases, tend to run in families and can be handed on from parent to kid. If both parents have a mental health problem, the risk increases much more. The American Journal of Psychiatry published research that tracked children of depressive parents for 20 years to see how they performed as adults. They discovered that children whose parents were depressed were three times more likely to have mental health and drug misuse problems than children whose parents were not unhappy.
“Both my parents have never been emotionally available and truth be told I don’t think they know how to. But we just learned to adapt to that” said a 15-year-old teenager during an interview. “My brother was a bit rebellious. I knew he had to face consequences but I didn’t agree with my mom’s method. I know it’s common for some parents to hit their kids but I feel like it’s usually a very subtle light hit on the wrist. Most of the time that wasn’t the case in our home. When my mom gets really angry she usually becomes very impulsive. So when she would try to hit him and usually end up blocking him so she’d hit me instead”. Some teenagers have convinced themselves that their unaware parents and their behaviors are normal, which is wrong on many levels.
It's vital to understand that just because a parent has a mental health problem doesn't guarantee it will affect their children. It's instead about how a parent's mental health influences their conduct. Many people who suffer from anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses receive treatment and go on to enjoy long, healthy, and productive lives. As a parent, dealing with depression may have an unintended effect on how you connect with your kid. You may not be as expressive or create an emotional link with your kid, for example, which might have an influence on the relationship between parent and child. It may also affect your child's physical well-being.
Be open and honest with your children about mental health. Describe what it is and how it can be treated. Avoid using labels and be careful with your language. "Sad" is gentler on the ears than "depressed," just as "scared" or "fearful" is easier for a youngster to understand than "anxiety." You should also be upfront and honest about how you communicate, both vocally and nonverbally. Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for, and they can detect clues. If you need to prioritize obtaining aid above caring for your family, don't feel guilty. Even if you're physically there, your family will struggle to get by without you at full strength.
When nothing appears to be going your way and you've spent your patience, it's easy to feel like your parenting abilities aren't up to grade. However, the fact that you're concerned about whether or not you're making the best parenting decisions indicates that you're not a horrible parent. Every decision you make might feel huge at times, and every error crucial. You are concerned about the long-term consequences of our decisions, particularly when they include unfavorable relationships with your children. You second-guess if you were too harsh when we shouted at them earlier, whether you could have managed that tantrum better, or if you gave them the proper punishment. Every parent, on the other hand, has those times when they lose their cool. In a moment of irritation or misunderstanding, you’ve all made less-than-ideal parenting decisions. To assist explain what's genuinely worth worrying about, two mental health professionals gave recommendations on how to recognize the indicators of what we'll label "poor parenting" and the impact it may have on a kid.
“I miss my family, I miss not getting beat up every time I talk about my emotions or ideas, I miss having a father figure, I miss having a single place to call home and I miss not feeling lost” conveyed a 16-year-old teenager. What they said was heartbreaking, and parents not being aware of how it makes them feel, or ignoring it, is absolutely pathetic. In my personal opinion, I consider this neglect and some sort of mental abuse. Children require treatment that promotes good emotional health and well-being and supports their general mental health, including the capacity to cope with stressful situations, regulate emotional arousal, conquer anxieties, and accept disappointments and frustrations. Parents and other caregivers are important resources for children in terms of controlling emotional arousal, coping, and behavior management. They fulfill this function by delivering positive affirmations, expressing love and respect, and instilling a sense of security. Parental support lowers the likelihood of internalizing behaviors, such as those linked with anxiety and depression, which can hinder children's adjustment and ability to perform successfully at home, school, and in the community.
“My dad has been a huge support since the day I was born. He never let anyone near me say anything that could hurt me. of course, now it’s harder for him to do this because he barely knows what I do who I’m friends with, and everything, but I do notice the huge effort he puts in just to make sure his kids are safe. As for my mom, I have no idea how someone can raise four kids, take care of a house and work all at the same time. My mom can be described as an actual superhero. the challenges she faced when I was younger are indescribable”. What this teenager said is how every child is supposed to feel about their parents, they should see them as “superheroes”, and never fear them.
Connect with your child. When you tune in to your kids, you're sending them the message that they matter, that they're important, that they're cherished, and that they're worth your time. Connection is just as important to you as it is to your children since it is what makes parenting worthwhile.
Jana Qadi.
1
135
0
96
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BY OBINNA NNAJIUBA
When President Muhammadu Buhari who campaigned vigorously using the anti-corruption fight as a strategy came to power in 2015, he promised to "kill corruption" completely, one of the most pressing problems facing Nigeria. He quickly launched an anti-corruption campaign, arresting, prosecuting, and persecuting some selected high-profile individuals, mostly members of the opposition party, and allegedly recovering billions of dollars in stolen funds yet to be accounted for.
However, eight years down the line, there is little or no evidence that Buhari's war on corruption has had any real impact. Corruption remains very rampant indices in Nigeria's political history. Some critics argue that Buhari in himself is fantastically corrupt and does not have the political will to fight corruption. they point to the fact that he has not been willing to prosecute some of his allies who have been accused of corruption.
Barely 5 months after the earlier renovation of Aso Rock Presidential Villa in 2014/15, President Buhari upon inception of office Budgeted 3.5B for the renovation of the aforementioned project. Before the election of President Buhari in 2015, he promised to make his assets declaration public but breached the promise he publicly made to the Nigerian people.
Before being elected to power in 2015 President Buhari called the subsidy regime a fraud, few weeks after his inauguration, he acknowledge that there is a subsidy and has since then borrowed to pay the subsidy, very recently Finance Minister Zainab Ahmed announced that the Federal Executive Council received $800M from the world bank to share to 50Millon Nigerians as palliative before petrol subsidy is removed in June 2023, she went further also to state that in 2023 alone the federal government has budgeted #3.36 trillion naira to take care of petrol subsidy till mid-2023, what a fantastically corrupt regime?
Sunday Darie the sports minister on the other hand announced that a total of 21 billion naira will be needed to renovate the national stadium in Lagos. As if that was all, the Aviation Minister announced that he had commissioned 10 firefighting trucks for the airports at the cost of 12 billion Naira, which translate to 1.2 billion per truck. This is unbelievable and it happened and still happening under the watch of whom many Abinitio believed that he has come to fight corruption.
In 2015, the government of President Muhammadu Buhari took a $2.1 billion loan from China Exim Bank to finance railway projects, only God knows where these projects were.
In 2016, the government obtained a $1 billion Eurobond from the international capital market to fund its budget deficit, which practically meant borrowing Money to share or basically for consumption.
In 2017, the government secured a $3 billion loan from the World Bank to finance infrastructure projects, which are nowhere.
In 2018, the government took another $2.8 billion loan from China Exim Bank to fund the construction of the Lagos-Ibadan railway project, which is yet to be completed.
In 2019, the government borrowed $2.5 billion from the World Bank to finance various development projects, and Nigerians are yet looking out to find where these projects were situated. In 2020, the government secured a $1.5 billion loan from the World Bank to support the country's economic recovery efforts amid the COVID-19 pandemic. In April 2021, the Nigerian government received approval from the World Bank for a $1.5 billion loan to support the country's economic recovery efforts amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
In August 2021, the Nigerian government received approval from the National Assembly to borrow $4 billion from external sources to fund infrastructural projects in the country.
It is important to note that some of these loans were taken for specific projects, and the Nigerian government has never been transparent in its borrowing and loan repayment processes which is an aberration to some constitutional provisions and the monies borrowed so far can't be juxtaposed side by side with the number of projects on the ground.
Our National Budget under GMB was padded, stolen, and missing, and no details since after the passage in 2016, the ICT Ministry budgeted 1Billion for office furniture presented by Buhari to the National Assembly, till date no one is facing trial for this monumental fraud, however, perpetrators are rewarded with either juicy position or more contracts.
Under the watch of "Saint Buhari", An Ex-Governor stole over N70B from a failed monorail project, and GMB rewarded him with a Ministerial post and almost allowed the same Individual to succeed him, what a country.
In all, there are several reasons why Buhari's anti-corruption campaign has failed.
First, the campaign has been characterized by a lack of accountability and openness. There have been claims of corruption inside the anti-corruption agency itself, and Buhari has refused to disclose information about the sums that have been recovered.
The campaign has also been picky. Buhari has concentrated his attention on his political rivals while disregarding corruption allegations implicating his allies. Additionally, inside his political sphere, President Buhari oversaw the worst election ever held in Nigeria, which was overseen by Professor Mahmud and INEC.
Third, the campaign has been ineffective. Many of the high-profile officials who have been arrested have been acquitted or have had their cases dismissed. And even when convictions have been secured, the sentences have been light.
As a result of these failures, Buhari's anti-corruption campaign has lost public trust. A recent poll found that only 15% of Nigerians believe that Buhari is doing a good job of fighting corruption, whereas the rest believe otherwise.
The failure of Buhari's anti-corruption campaign is a major setback for Nigeria. Corruption is a major obstacle to development, and it is one of the main reasons why Nigeria remains the world's poverty capital with over 133 million Nigerians living below the poverty line.
corruption is a major problem in Nigeria today, it hurts the economy, the government, and society as a whole. Aside from President Buhari's weak dispositions, several factors contribute to corruption in Nigeria including weak institutions, lack of transparency, a culture of impunity, poverty, etc.
If Nigeria is to break the cycle of corruption, it needs to build a strong and independent anti-corruption agency that is free from political interference. It also needs to create a culture of transparency and accountability, and it needs to ensure that all Nigerians are treated equally under the law.
Until these things are done, Buhari's war on corruption will continue to fail even as he has less than a week to go.
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