How do you tell if a friend is fake or not? It’s not easy because nobody is just good or bad. We all got good sides and bad sides.
But in some people or relationships, the bad sides take over. And that’s when you got a fake friend.
I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend.!
The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life : Zulfi .
You can spot a fake person a mile away. It’s a bit exaggerated but close. I think you learn to see the fake ones, the more experience you get from them. First you see them as a possible friend but discover later that they’re just pretending to like you. They can already be your friend but still stab you in the back.
Zulficar says : I’m much stronger person because of these bad experiences. I would never let people treat me that way again. I’m so used to be alone so friends only feel like a hindrance. If I take part in events or studying, I never even try to become friends with others. I rather meet people, talk to them possibly but that’s about it. I don’t want to get stuck in a rut. I’m my best friend. I know everything about me and trust myself. Maybe I’m lying to myself that I can be happy alone but at least I don’t get hurt my other people’s lies. Some might think this kind of approach is not healthy but it works for me.
So below i enlisted some of the points ,which i learn ,how to recognize fake freind from real one .
Pay attention to how much they talk about themselves
How interested are they in you?
What type of people do they hang out with?
Do they apologize and owe their mistakes up to you?
Do they lie to you or others?
How do they make you feel about yourself?
Are they critical of your achievements?
Do they understand your limitations?
Do they respect your boundaries?
How do they react when you tell them something you’re proud or happy about?
Do they stand up for you?
Do they help you out when you need it?
Do they act differently when around others?
Do they talk bad about you behind your back?
Do they seem happy to see you?
Can you be yourself around them?
Can you trust them to keep a secret?
Are they taking advantage of your generosity?
Do they pressure you to do things you don’t want to do?
When you end the friendship, do they go nuclear?
If This points happen End the friendship if you’ve gone past the point of no return.: Zulficar
Family picture of zulfi during parents visit in kuwait
Zulficar, his story of moving to Kuwait and his perspective on migration. Anyone planning to make a move out of India can take something out of Zulfi’s story and StoriesFromOutOfIndia.
We at these blog are making an effort to help you in making an informed decision (through stories like these), if you are one of those who are looking to making that move.
Four years ago, a wiry bhilai boy decided to move to Kuwait for a fresh start. For, Today, he is back in the country he first set foot in, and made a life for himself.
When did you decide you wanted to move out of India?
I felt that I did not have much scope in India as I had lived a ‘party life’ in my teen years. Than working in navy but I had heard a lot of good things about abroad and thought it would give me a fresh start, which I did get. That was almost 04 years ago. At that time, Kuwait was not one of the places I wanted to move to, it just happened to be a place where my brother in law lived, so I thought, “Why not? Let’s give it a shot.”
How were the initial first years? Did you find the place welcoming, were you missing India or its chaos?
The initial first years almost 04 years ago, were very hard. It was a major culture shock, and I wanted to run back to India, to a place that I felt comfortable in. But I knew deep down, that this was a place that would be good for me eventually; so I stuck on.
First pic : Zulfi with brother in law
After working in navy , zulfi moved to kuwait .!
You done graduation from navy and then decided to work in Kuwait, wasn’t that hampering your stay in India?
Not at all; although Kuwait is a good place to live, it’s saving power in the way of money is very high So when I moved to Kuwait , the saving power was a lot more and after working there for 04 years The shift was not easy, as Kuwait offers a lot of luxury, but it’s a sacrifice one has to make and come back to reality in India
Was it an easy decision to move back to Kuwait?
Moving to Kuwait was different in its own way. It’s like living in Disneyland. Everything is fake—one makes a lot of money, drives fancy cars on very fancy roads, live in hotel that one can only dream of, eat over-priced foods and live in a very fancy cocooned world. One has to keep his/her eye on the prize and not lose focus. To me, it was a 5 to 10 years goal—make my money and leave and that’s why i am here . The money I saved in 04 years in Kuwait, I would never be able to save in 10 years in India on a regular job.
How would you rate the quality of life in Kuwait as opposed to India?
India has its own charm, but I am not fond of the corruption, the filth all around and small-minded thinking of some people. But there are things also that I love of the Indian culture—I love the feeling of genuine people around, some of the values that we were brought up with and the amount of government holidays that people get there [ha ha ha ha…]
Would you recommend Kuwait as a place to migrate to for those who are contemplating a move?
It’s hard for me to say that Kuwait is a better place to settle in, some folks love it others hate it. As for me, it’s part of my life now and I love it. I would definitely recommend Kuwait as an option to young graduate looking at starting a new life. It’s a struggle to settle in, in the beginning, but it keeps getting better.
What are the plus points of living in Kuwait ?
We have a free accommodation system, water electricity is free (although it is terrible), Kuwait provides a safe environment; I can feel safe walking around anytime. There is no discrimination of work,Kuwait has a great skyscraper and plenty of nature around; sea side views … it’s all of these that make Kuwait so beautiful.
Other than the lifestyle created by money, the weather plays a big factor when moving to Kuwait. Kuwait has extreme climate, while Kuwait has 2 seasons which is extreme in my opinion from extreme hot to extreme cold . The changing of the colours from one season to the next, to the kids enjoying the activities like cycling, rollerblading , skating to beautiful parks here in winter activities.
Living in Kuwait, gives one a different impression of life, something one could only dream of: high-end cars, fancy holidays, expensive watches, high-end restaurants, spending money without having to think twice. Coming back to India, reality hits back and one can never make the same kind of money as easily as one would make in Kuwait.
Sometimes there’s no reason to smile, but I’ll smile anyway because of life. Yes, I’m one of those people who always smiles.
- I smile when I enter in my room .
- I smile when I see other people.
- I smile when I’m by myself.
- I smile when People say i am feeble.
- I smile when things are difficult.
- I smile when i was in pandemic era .
Am I crazy? A pessimist would say yes.
But smiling is an attitude. Most people think it’s an effect of something.
Zulfi don’t have a reason to smile.
Well, there you have it. You’re thinking all wrong.
It’s not like you have to do something, or buy something to smile.
When I smile, I think, I’m happy to be alive.I do not even think life is good. When I was in my work area, and live in a dirty work condition . But I didn’t care because it was still good to be alive, despite that it wasn’t easy.
When I walk around in the city, I see sad faces.
It doesn’t matter where I am. Kuwait, India or any place in the world
Some days I’m a little tired. Maybe I didn’t sleep well. Maybe I worked out too hard in writing blog or sketching or cooking . Maybe I just worked too hard at the office.
But I’ll still smile from the inside.
- I smile when I wake up.
- I smile when my life is bad.
- I smile when I listen to music.
- I smile when I see a stranger.
- I smile when I hear a good story.
- I smile when I see rain.
- I smile when I put on my office shoes.
- I smile when i was in lockdown.
- I smile when i was far from home.
Never gloomy. Never sad. Even when I’m down.
I wasn’t always like that.
Smiling is a skill. Being happy is also a skill.
You practice it every day. How? Just walk around and smile. You say to yourself, I choose to smile.
- Does your boss scream at you? Smile.
- Do you lose money? Smile.
- Is any one in this world sad/angry? Smile.
- Is any one annoying you? Smile.
- Does your co-worker patronize you? Smile.
That’s small stuff. There’s real pain outside of all the trivial things that happen in your life. When I’m angry, upset, gloomy, I give myself 4 minutes to feel sorry for myself. Saying in mind zulfi sorry .!
Oh poor zulfi.
Now, smile again.
You can’t feel two emotions at the same time. It’s just impossible. Your brain isn’t capable of that.
When someone I love is upset, I do something weird so they smile. You can’t be upset and be happy at the same time.
It’s a strategy.
Humor, laughter, enjoyment, and smiling are the secret to living a good life.
Best thing about it?
Did you smile?
Being locked up during this pandemic, everyone is discovering skills they weren’t sure they possessed while some are polishing up on skills they had put on the back-burner.
zulficar ali ahmed, a Graduate, Kuwaitsteel is , took this free time locked inside, to refine his art of sketching. Being caught up with naval academy, a Engineer followed by a work in kuwait, didn’t give him enough time to work towards his talent. since the last three months, he made it a point to put in at least half an hour daily working towards bettering his sketching skills.
Raised in the ‘City of Steel ( bhilai) ’,zulfi has big dreams for his future in Art. Backed by his mother, his constant critic, along with his father who has been his support, he has found his passion and is working diligently towards making those dreams a reality. As zulfi says, “A few good friends is all one needs,” and he has a handful of them encouraging him, after seeing his talent.
Self caught up with the ‘self taught’ artist who is as passionate about Sketching as he is about his Academy days in navy. “I think it is good to have two jobs or passions—you don’t get bored doing the same thing on a daily basis and you also have time to indulge in your passion,” he says.
How did you develop a fondness for sketching?
Art comes to me from my mother and father; those is the one who has inspired me to pursue it. When I was in naval academy , I wasn’t really interested in arts; I was someone who scored my highest in all subjects . When I developed an interest after my training , my Mother and father continuously pushed me to be better. I remember when I was doing a portrait of my sister , my Mom kept pointing out places I went wrong and made me redo it, especially her face. I kept working on it and did not stop till my Mother was satisfied. I re-worked the jaw line, the eyes and every minute detail until she gave me her approval!
You have been sketching for the past 06 years, when did you start sketching?
When I was in naval academy , from Watch duty my co cadets, used to do all my paintings and I used to get complimented for it in academy. I wanted to keep the compliments coming. I recollect this one time when my friend was in academy and a picture of him caught my eye. I started sketching her thinking to myself, if my Batch-mates recognize the sketch, it meant I’m good. After sketching for 3-4 hours I showed it to them and they recognized the cadet. That gave me a boost.
Has your Dad too been instrumental in your sketching journey?
My Dad is a mechanical engineer (balco – Bharat aluminum company)and so he’s not into sketching and painting, but he is excellent at mechanical and geometric drawings. When it comes to painting and sketching, I get from my Mom, whereas when it comes to mechanical and geometric drawings I get it from my dad.
What inspires you the most when it comes to sketching—a piece of art, a person…
There is no such particular thing that inspires me. If something or someone catches my eye I won’t think twice before sketching it. When I was in Accommodation in kuwait, I was very bored. My sister she is also btech holder and working in reputed IT company ,I liked very much I sat sketching her for an hour! So I try sketching picture of my sisters.
Zulfi Sister sketch
Zulfi sister sketch
You have done your engineering, but you want to take up sketching as a profession, do you consider continuing with engineering alongside?
Absolutely! Sketching is my hobby which I would love to take up as a profession, but I am definitely going to continue with work. Currently, I am working in kuwait steel company which is on pause because of the pandemic. I will be resuming work soon. It is good to have two jobs or passions—in the end, you’re not bored doing the same thing on a daily basis and have time to indulge in your passion as well.
Do you only do portraits?
I am focusing on sketching at the moment but I do plan on exploring colour board and painting. You cannot erase or redo anything. After this, I plan to learn painting.
Your portraits cover even minute details and look exactly like the reference pictures, this is definitely a natural talent, but have you attended classes as a child or later?
I’m self-taught. I looked up tutorial videos and observed my friends when they were sketching. No elementary or intermediate exam has been given by me. My goal was simple: if there was a circle with different shades, I would try to sketch it as identically as possible with my judgement and skill. Of course, my Mom father and my sisters helped me in every way.
RYAN has been dishing out all the details about his upcoming debut album and we cannot wait for it to drop.
RYAN Confirms 8 Track Debut Album Is 'Halfway Done' & Will Drop In 2020.
The 20-year-old musician recently did a Live Stream, where he spoke about his plans with his first solo project.
When’s the release date?
During the Live Stream he made, he revealed his plans for late 2020 release.
What songs are on it?
So far, all we know is ‘One’ & ‘Boy Weekend Getaways’ will not be on the list.