I never put much thought into how this year would be, because it just sorta goes by and before you know it it’s January first and you're wishing for a happy new year!
That is not what 2020 is about at all.
2020 is filled with tears and anger and such anguish it was criminal, the things that we have allowed to go on, they are just terrible. It’s not even half-way through the year and it already sucks!
One thing I knew for sure was that January first was the day I said to myself- "Hey maybe this year won't suck so badly."
Nope, somehow we managed to make it worse than before! I’m actually laughing while I write this because its just crazy how much we can manage to screw stuff up.
My dog is looking at me like I’m crazy right now, chewing on an antler and looking at my hands as they clack on the keyboard. I gave him a smile and all he did was tilt his head cutely.
Fucking adorable.
I still have no reason for writing this, it’s kinda pointless, but at the same time I never sit back and just enjoy writing anymore, it’s always on a deadline in my head, I don’t enjoy a lot anymore, but maybe someday I can look ahead and say, "Yeah, life is gonna be good to me" It’s a far off thought, but I still hope that it happens.
Mason (my border-collie puppy) is sitting next to my dad right now, or not, he just moved up next to me again, chewing on a toy squirrel now, he was something in my life that I really hope I never forget, by the time I read over this again, he’ll be too old, or passed away by then, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss him, because I know that I will.
He's a good dog, he sticks by me, and we get each other, he’s a little weird and he’s standoffish sometimes, but I still love him. That’s the things about life that I’m still realizing today, something’s aren't going to be close to you, they’ll be somewhere in-between, They’ll find their place among your life, and you will either pull them along for the ride or you’ll let them be.
People are so fascinating, and everyday I am proved correctly, what they do, what they say, what they think, how they feel, how they live life.
It’s such an interesting thing.
I know I am a human too, but on some level I know that people don’t view the world the way that I do, I’m open, in a way that most people find gross. I see everything from everyone’s perspective, because I almost feel like I’ve been where they were sometime in my life.
Even if I know that’s physically impossible, I like to think, ‘Hey, maybe they have a point, they have an opinion too, they are a person too, they have a life, why should their opinion mean less just because I don’t agree with it?’
That’s the thing about most people, they think that they are always right, and that is just asinine. You cannot always be correct, everyone has something going on in their life-big or small it doesn’t matter, and they have opinions on those subjects, and they have values and morals, and all these things about them that make them who they are.
I like to think that people are like rocks, some of them are completely put together, whole, they know where they’re going, and then you have some who are broken, beyond repair, but they are still rocks. then you have those who are worn down, exhausted from being worked so hard in life, and honestly I know that is how some people are. Then there are some that have odd shapes or colors, they may be different, but they are still rocks, and if there is nothing wrong with that rock, and the way it is, the way it looks, then there should be nothing wrong with it compared to other rocks.
We are all rocks, whole;broken;worn-down;oddly-shaped;different-mindset;different-color. It doesn’t matter, we are all one in the same, and if you were to look at a beach, all you’d see is rocks right? They're all the same right? It doesn’t matter if they have pointy edges or if they’re big or small or light or dark, or somewhere in-between, they're all rocks right? You’d just look at it and say,
“Wow, that is a lot of rocks.”
Because we are together, and we all make up that beach, that wonderful beach that people should love, where they come to smile, and laugh, and be happy with other people, we weren’t meant to fight, if we were, we’d be bullet proof; but we’re not, we are meant for better things, and this is not what we were put here for.
Each of us has a purpose, it doesn’t matter if it’s huge or tiny, we do our part, and then our beach shall flourish because we worked for something greater, for something beautiful.
This is not what we were meant for, we were meant for better, we were meant for something, but this is not it.
Peace is an option, so is war, I know which one I’d choose, how about you? Would you choose love over hate this time?
Mason would choose love, that much I know.
